The raptors are on our side, folks. All is well, all is well.
It took us a while to get back to this. And we’re tremendously sorry for that. (Not that we feel it is such a tragic event that we don’t post in months, we’re not that full of it, yet.)
It’s been here for a while, rocking the box office, but we only got to watch it a couple days ago. You guessed it – Jurassic (freaking) World.
First things first. We’ve been here since the begin of the freaking awesome trilogy that converted every kid into a dinosaur lover, future paleontologist and such. So, thanks Spielberg. Jurassic World is a fine sample of a reboot. Is it out of this world? Hardly. But it’s more than enough for a couple hours of pure enjoyment. It’s fun. Visually it’s good, the action sequences are pretty tight, there’s plenty of dinosaurs to go around. It’s a crowd pleaser. And there’s nothing wrong about that.
Everyone’s been talking about Pratt. Yours truly were already great big fans of Andy, yeah we enjoy Parks and Recreation. Here’s the thing about Pratt: the guy is insanely likable. He’s nice, funny and now he even grew a freaking six-pack to appeal to the superficial demographics left without feelings for Pratt. He was a solid Star Lord. But, here’s the thing about Owen: there’s not all that much to him. The character is pretty bland. We get it. They’re all type characters. Claire is mostly a control freak that’s into a rad (can we still use this term?) laid-back dude. There’s not much to any of them, really. We get it. It’s more of a species battle than a personal journey. And that’s OK. We just hope they bring some more flavor to these two in the next couple movies, honestly, for God’s sake. The heels were a nice touch, but, risking repetition, there isn’t a clear goal of getting us in touch with Claire, she’s just there, so they also seem like an unnecessary prop. It could be her or anyone else with a couple nephews. The same applies to the guy with the really weird mustache. Why develop these random details? You might be thinking “They’re just out of their freaking minds. All we do is follow them while they escape these pre-historical puppies.” Maybe.
Major props to Ty Simpkins and Nick Robinson, especially the little one. They hand out a real lesson to their older, way more famous, peers.
Cool amount of references. We don’t mean to spoil them, so we’ll shut up about them. But, it’s impossible not to get at least close to a couple nostalgic tears. Of joy. Joy.
At the end of it, this all situation is just a series of very poor decisions (to say the least), that no one in their right mind would ever make. It’s just freaking insane. Which grants you a pretty dubious script. Because things are arranged for this, already in theory very unstable park, to just go bananas in a weekend. It makes you wonder. Wouldn’t this movie be pretty shitty without the dinosaurs? But, after all, is it supposed to be worth anything without those fantastic creatures that make the act of shitting your pants not only OK but adequate? We don’t know, dudes. What we know is that you should definitely go get some shit in your pants, right now. Figuratively speaking. So, parents, take your kids to see it. Kids, make your parents go watch it. Take grandma and grandpa, take your cousins, take your next door neighbor, take your god. Just go watch Jurassic World.
It’s Jurassic Park all over again. “Wow enough”.